Your heart is in the right space. You love the feeling of making others happy. You like being the one people can always count on. You often cater to someone else’s needs before your own. You like knowing you can be the reason someone else feels loved, cared for, and simply happy.
You are a people pleaser. And to be frank, you are an absolute gem in this world because many people are not this way. But trying to be everything for everyone all the time can also be draining for you.
Being this way isn’t a bad thing, and I truly believe humanity would be better off if everyone cared more for others. But it’s important to remember you are allowed and should put yourself and your own needs first. As tempting and natural as it may be for you, the world isn’t expecting you to give and give 100% of the time.
While pleasing others will always bring a certain level of happiness, it is not the only factor to a fulfilled life. Just like a gas tank, we too need to make sure we refuel ourselves regularly. Constantly giving and giving can be tiring and consequently bad for your own mental state. It can slowly leave you questioning if someone would do the same for you in return. It can make you believe you must always give in order to win people over. It can falsely lead you to relationships that are one-sided. It can become so addictive that you become obsessed with the feeling of being needed by others.
It’s easy to get lost in this idea that, if you are everything and more to others, it will result in positive Karma, leading to a perfectly happy and content way of life. But that’s not necessarily the case.
If left unchecked, one day you will simply run out of gas. You will likely hit a stopping point and be left to breakdown. After giving and giving without being there for yourself first, it will only wear and tear you to the ground. It can become too overwhelming and stressful to try and do it all for everyone that it breaks you in the end.
The truth is you do not need to put all of that pressure on yourself. You don’t need to be everything for everyone. While I know it is in your nature to be the caring, loving, and selfless individual that you are, you must learn to set boundaries and priorities for yourself too.
Learn to make a commitment to what’s most important to you instead of just for others. Take your time on this earth to focus on what makes you feel alive, fulfilled, and joyous.
Learn to say no if it begins to drain you. Saying no isn’t always easy in the moment, but it is a necessary word for balance.
Learn to not be anyone else’s doormat. You do not need to be walked all over just because you are a people pleaser. It’s okay to set limits.
Instead, focus on loving your whole self first. Loving your body, your mind, and your soul—loving it all. Even if this feels wrong to you, it is not. It is necessary. Before you set out to take care and give your all to others, please make sure to create and maintain a strong relationship with yourself first.