“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” ~Christine Caine The phrase “personal growth” has always felt counterintuitive to me. Personal growth feels less like growth and more like stripping away—of peeling back the expectations, fears, and shame that we’ve been conditioned with since birth. Beneath
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford Self-doubt is a killer. It may start off quietly in the back of your mind when you’re a kid. You may not even notice its presence, but if you let it, it can keep growing bigger and bigger like a balloon
“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” ~Douglas Adams The Buddha famously said that
“Just because you’re not doing what other people are doing, that doesn’t mean you’re failing or falling behind. You’re charting your own course and staying true to yourself, even though it would be easier to join the crowd. You’re creating a life you can fall in love with instead of falling in line. You’re finding
“Boundaries aren’t about punishing. Boundaries are about creating safety for yourself.” ~Sheri Keffer The person sitting beside you at the bar keeps talking to you despite your obvious disinterest. The flirty Uber driver mentions—three times—how beautiful you are. Your cousin’s new boyfriend gives you a too-long hug with wandering hands. In awkward situations with strangers, we
“I am not fully healed, I am not fully wise, I am still on my way. What matters is that I am moving forward.” ~Yung Pueblo According to Dr. John Gottman, PhD, successful repair attempts are a “happy couple’s secret weapon.” An attempt to repair is when our partner makes a mistake and then makes
“Neurologists claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving.” ~Unknown One of the most impactful ways that mindfulness has changed my life is how I’m able to work with my feelings of anger. Anyone who has met me in recent years would
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh There is so much noise and overwhelm these days it’s almost impossible to not feel crippling anxiety on a regular basis. With a march of commitments, appointments, and obligations that never seem to end, we’re
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving,” ~Kim McMillen I started learning about self-love a long time ago. In fact, I started learning about self-love so long
“Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” ~Unknown About ten years ago I made the mistake of re-reading my journal from high school. Wow, was I ever a miserable, slightly unstable person. I dated the same (great) guy for three years, but looking back over my handwritten confessions, you would have
“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours.” ~Mary Schmich After Mom passed away two years ago, I returned home to take care of the remnants of her earthly life. Clothes and shoes, books with her notes in the margins, old cookware and medication leftovers.
“Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.” ~Vironika Tugaleva Ah, therapy, my old friend. We meet again. I really thought I’d released you from my life; that I no longer needed your help to maintain my sanity. Boy, was I wrong. Third time’s a
“No thought has any power. You have power. And when you identify and believe in the thought, you give power to the thought.” ~Mooji It was 2004. I was on day three of a six-month meditation retreat, and my restless and turbulent mind was driving me nuts. The prospect of sitting on this wretched cushion
“Our society has become a conspiracy against joy. It has put too much emphasis on the individuating part of our consciousness—individual reason—and too little emphasis on the bounding parts of our consciousness, the heart and soul.” ~David Brooks When I was in elementary school, I avoided group projects like the plague. When given the choice
“You open your heart knowing there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.” ~Bob Marley A few months ago I was visited by my mother in a dream; my deceased mother who took her own life thirty years
“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but in its own wings. Always believe in yourself.” ~Unknown If you’ve ever stopped and thought, “What the hell am I doing?” or “How did I end up here?” believe me when I tell
“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.” ~Maryam Hasnaa I was sobbing quite hysterically, huddled into myself sitting on the kitchen floor. It literally felt like my life was falling apart. And so was I.
“Sometimes you don’t realize you’re actually drowning when you’re trying to be everyone else’s anchor.” ~Unknown Have you ever felt trapped? No, actually, have you ever felt absolutely paralyzed? Like you’re fearful of making any choices at all? It feels like any step you take could end in utter catastrophe. Five years ago, that was
“Love for the body motivates us to take care of our physical needs. In a family, love keeps its members together, so they can conduct the business of life and raise their children. For a group, love of a common cause keeps its members relating, so they can accomplish their tasks. Love of learning makes
“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” ~Guy Finley I used to be married to a very kind man with similar values and goals in life. So why did we end up divorced? In one word? Communication. Like so many other highly sensitive people (HSPs) I thrived
“My attitude has always been, if you fall flat on your face, at least you’re moving forward. All you have to do is get back up and try again.” ~Richard Branson Let’s face it, losing a job sucks! Over the last couple of months, I have been chatting with friends who have recently been affected
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” ~Henry David Thoreau How many years do we live with a sense of quiet desperation, faking the connection we have with ourselves? Why do we deny ourselves authentic living and exchange our time for mindless living? Over
“The only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk Learning to be alone as an adult has been a struggle for me. It’s taken quite a while for me to adjust to
“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human—in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.” ~C. JoyBell C. “I just feel like it’s never ending… like I should be more over it by now,”
“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke I was eight years old when my father and I somehow ended up in a heated, verbal struggle.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by everything that’s going on in the world and powerless to help? Even if you avoid the news—which to be honest, I generally do—you’ll still be bombarded with the latest conflicts and tragedies when you log on to social media. We may look to our smartphones for a little break
“In today’s rush, we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle We’re going to start with a visualization exercise. Set a timer for one minute, close your eyes, and reflect on your happiest childhood memories… I was born into a family of
“Absolute attention is an act of generosity.” ~Simone Weil When I was a child, I used to write poems as presents for my parents on birthdays and holidays. I’d sit quietly and think of what I wanted to say. Then I’d try to turn that into musical language. I’d write those words on the page,
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” ~Sidney Banks I spent most of my life scared of my feelings. Having feelings and expressing them made me mentally ill—or so I was led to believe by a large number of mental health professionals.
“People are so caught up in their own negativity and losses that they give up on creating the future they want.” ~Grant Cardone I have a friend. Let’s call him Ram. Ram is always angry because of the cards that he was dealt in life. He comes from a middle-class family that has no money